I Wish

I may want to run away from all this
I may want to forget all that transpired
I may want to go back in time,
Erase that reality from my life
But I’m not a believer of luck
So i may wish
But it wouldn’t come true
You left a scar in me
One that would never heal
“Kidonda ndugu” they call it in Swahili
Hurt i call it
You left a hollow pit in me
Darkness, loneliness, sadness
A pit of insecurities
And madness
I wish i knew
I wish i did differently
Here i go again wishing
I am not a believer of wishes

You were a flower
Blossoming in me
You were a shooting star
Right across my sky
But that was before i fed you poison
That was before i killed my little flower
That was before i sucked all the life out of you
That was before i made you a meteor
That was before i painted you as pure evil.

I keep defending myself
I wanted the best for you,
I had no idea what it was, honestly
And in all the confusion at the time,
Baby, im sorry
Im gonna be sorry for a lot longer
I hope that Someday,
I will find peace
That light will shine in my pit
That i won’t be lonely
That i will feel loved and appreciated
That i will be confident again
That the hurl of madness will come to an end.

I know you are at a much better place
I know you are happier.
I love you.

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