BIG READ

TRIAL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP?

Marriage in our culture means a union between two people who have agreed to live together to make a family. In the ancient days of our great grandparents, the parents would choose the partner for their daughter or son. There was no room for long time dates and choosing who you want to spend your life with.

When you look closely these marriages lasted a life time. Even in the ages of our grand parents these things existed.

Today things have changed,we choose who to date and call it quits when we feel like. We owe no one a failed relationship worse still a marriage. It got me thinking where we went wrong. Where we abandoned the right way for a road that leads a stray. I was thinking to myself what is the cause of many broken marriages and relationships that seems full of potential for a beautiful couple. In that mood of introspection, I came up with three points that we need to look closely. There could be more but for today allow me to discuss these three.

Irresponsible partner

Irresponsible may mean different things to the hearer. In this case I mean not doing what you are supposed to do at a given time. In the recent past partners have neglected their duties in making the union work between themselves. I strongly believe that for anything to work it takes the efforts of the parties involved,same applies to marriage. It takes two willing souls to make a decision that they will abide to,for two cannot walk together unless they agree.

In that relationship you are in,what are you doing to make it work? If it is working what are you doing to make it better?. As the saying goes,perfection is not a destination but rather a journey. If you purpose to be on the giving side rather than on the receiving end. Do not get in that relationship or marriage with a mind set of what you will get but rather what you can give.

Quit blaming it on your partner when things do not work. Communication is a strong key towards anything doable. If he/she is not doing it right,you can always talk through it together to improve your relationship.

Unfaithful partner

Even keeping secrets that could be harmful from your partner is being unfaithful. Telling lies,infidelity amounts to unfaithfulness. Any relationship entails integrity being able to do the right thing even if your partner is not watching you. It has issues to do with personality,there are people who cannot be trusted even with smallest things.

Being faithful is a decision one makes within themselves. Just like a soldier is loyal to their country even to a point of death,this loyalty needs to be embraced to make things simpler for each other. Faithfulness earns respect and love. Again,in the recent past where the sexually transmitted infections are on rise it is noble to be faithful to a faithful partner too. The best gift a father can do to their children is by loving their mother alone while the reciprocal is respect to their father.

Selfishness

The inability to consider your partners reaction and feelings in all you do. If we can be more considerate in everything we do,things can change. Sometimes the decision we make affects our partner directly or indirectly,putting this in mind you would be more lenient in making tough decisions that could bring a house down. Evey other thing can be discussed and solution arrived at in any decision. When I was young,I requested my mother to go see my grand parents and she said,”we will ask your daddie” I was left wondering s if she had no authority, today I know better that she was wise.

Next time you are making a decision alone,weigh it’s possible consequences to your partner.

In conclusion,I would like to bring to your attention that ALL human beings are generally good and for one to misbehave it takes a stimuli. There must be a reason as to why human beings behave the way they do. Go do things differently and experience different results.

Do not make it a trial marriage/relationship make it happen. You are the driving force in that relationship. I wish you well in relationships/marriage that lasts a life time.

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