Do you have a secret?
Are you holding something inside that you are afraid to admit to others — or maybe even acknowledge fully to yourself?
A secret, a hidden or repressed truth, is like a parasitic worm eating you up from the inside out. Eventually the truth wins — but at what cost? Guilt, shame, and pretense almost always manifest in alarming ways.
Pretending to be someone you’re not, living a lie, telling lies, or withholding a portion of the truth, will surely prevent you from living a full and happy life.
Why is it so hard to be honest with ourselves and others, even though we know the importance of the truth? Most of us were raised on lessons of truth, and yet we learn quickly that lying seems more convenient or expedient. And we keep lying until our noses grow longer than the lie itself.
Lies, lies, everywhere are lies. The truth gets lost behind our fears, ego, and pride.
Being honest about who you are can be a terrifying prospect, especially when you might face rejection, shame, or even threats to your livelihood or safety. But living a lie can become even more terrifying.
If you are holding on to a secret . . .
If you are living a lie . . .
If you are stepping outside of your integrity . . .
If you are repressing a reality . . .
If you are turning your head or burying it in the sand . . .
If you are pretending to be something you are not . . .
If you are glossing over the facts . .
I encourage you to step out into the sunshine of the truth, and let the truth set you free.
Yes,it may mean you’re embarrassed………..It may mean you feel some shame…..It may mean you are rejected by some…….It may mean you have to make a change………It may mean you are punished.
But . . . the flood of relief with the truth will wash away so much of the pain.
And quite often, the truth is not as scary or awful as you perceived it to be. Quite often, the truth leads you to something better, so much better, than you are experiencing right now.
One universal truth cannot be ignored: the truth will always emerge.
It might emerge through the back door, battered and trembling. Or it can shine forth by our own courageous intentions. It is often a choice between the brief and sharp pain of self-awareness and bold honesty or the lingering and debilitating dull ache of deception.
You are lying because you’re seeking comfort. A lie is something that you make yourself or others believe in order to make life a little easier. A lie is a paradigm under which you operate to avoid pain.
A lie will destroy you, inside and out. A lie is something you want to believe because to consider the opposite would hurt your ego or expose you to others.
You are lying to yourself when:
1. You feel anxious all the time.
2. You deny your passions and fail to pursue what excites you, no matter what it is.
3. You put someone else’s needs way above your own. You are lying to yourself when you neglect to take care of yourself.
4. You seek distraction to get away from the real stuff — the hard problems. You seek distraction instead of actually working to fix the problems that bother you to your deepest core.
5. You settle — for anything. You think you don’t deserve more than what’s handed to you.
6. You care intensely about what someone else thinks — and let their opinions color your actions.
7. You ignore that gnawing feeling in your heart and gut.
8. You seek popularity and profits, instead of seeking authenticity.
You can stop lying to yourself by:
1. Being courageous enough to make a definitive decision — going forward even though it is scary.
2. Taking responsibility of what has happened, what is happening, and what is going to happen.
3. Detaching yourself from the fantasy of reliving the past.
4. Moving — actively working to find a place that resonates with you. Take action.
5. Not doing something simply because you are told to do it or because everyone else is doing it. Think first if that action resonates with who you are. If not, then don’t do it, even if everyone else is.
6. Facing the music, even though it hurts.
7. Making a decision to stop lying to yourself and others, today.
8. Focusing on what you know to be most important to you .
9. Refusing to associate with people who don’t share your values.
Developing and living a life of lies is one of the most hypocritical way of living. It haunts you all through, it destabilises your mental state. In as much as it may bring some temporary relief, you feel so naked from inside because, whichever lie you tell others or yourself, the truth is always bare from deep within.