EXPLICIT

I was walking home
Covered by the dark
Around the dome
My heart heavily burdened
I let out a sigh
How I wish I could make it stop
Better yet
Let it consume me
Let the fire burn me
To ashes
Let the winds blow me
To the desserts
And the waters carry me
To the oceans
How I wish
I could let myself explode
Into a million pieces and one
Maybe because I’m odd
Ain’t that what you were told
That my soul is old
And my heart cold
And my smile bold?

But you never see
Beneath the nakedness
Of my skin
Into my wounded being
Yee that hath eyes
But cannot see
You never hear
Beyond the noice
That is my laughter
Into my heart
Full of hate and mallice
Yee that hath ears
But cannot hear
You can never taste
The pain in my
bitter-sweet tears
Nor can you ever
Feel the fire and fury
Hidden in my heart.

When I was young,
I’d hide
And they’d never find,
Seek they would,
See that became my favourite game
Some call me the magician
I could just appear
and disappear
Like a morning boner
I became a snail
Had a little shell
To retract to
When all was going to hell.
I became antisocial
Never born like this,
Growing,
The sound of laughter
Around me melted my ears
Little footsteps of toddlers
Flowered my heart with joy
Like roses to a pavement
But don’t we all grow to be monsters?
Our laughters
Became drowning screams of help
And footsteps became haste
As we try to outrun hell?
All is not well.

But how can I ever
Learn to unlove you
While my heart beats
At the sound of your name
My blood rushes
at the scent of your smell
And my skin bumps
At the touch of your skin
Tell me love
How can I ever erase
How can I ever escape
Some nights I stay up
Crushing from the skies
We painted on
Drowning in the seas
We swam in
Burying myself in the soils
We made love on
Killing myself with every life
You gave me.

I want to hold
the crushing skies
In place
I’m trying to control the raging waters
All the stars are shooting
I hope they ain’t aiming at you
If so,
I’d be your armour.
Hell I’d let them brake me
The sky is all dark
Without you my lark
The night is all gloomy
There is no light
It’s all dark
Without you my spark.
© feddiesharkhy

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